Here lies my predicament - the suffering of nil...

The great defeat
Moments waiting for response
Initial pausing of achievement
Achieving silence
Stillness
But no abundance of success
Pause for those moments
But continuous seasons
The birds chirp each season
The sun rises and continues to fall
All is pause but the moments
The moments continue
As does my skin age
As I am loveless and without giving
As the flowers bloom then fall
And I ride wheels over their petals
And the rain comes then goes
I am breathing and birthing breath toward horizons
And my achievements grow nil
Here lies my predicament
The suffering of nil
A quiet pain of waiting
A throb of non-motion
The arch nemesis of development
A silent ceasing
Here
Silent •


I am sure that we have all experienced this. Applying for university or completing college and apply for your first job. So many attempts. When we have done everything in our power to advance — tests, applications, cold calling, follow-ups — and everything is left up in the air.

It is agonizing, especially when what we are working and waiting for is our dream position. Especially when we have waited years for this, have seen it on the horizon, and have constantly been moving toward it. And then here we are at its doorstep, and we must rely upon the favor of others to be granted our dream — that which we have truly given blood, sweat, and tears for. Truly agonizing.

Sometimes patience and many attempts are the answer. Perhaps the dream job requires more training in order to be accepted, or the dream university requires different test scores for the same. This applies in so many areas in which we have the desire to accomplish a goal.

And this does not mean we must give up or that it will never happen; it simply means more time may be necessary. Indeed, we must remember — what is the opposite of accomplishing a goal, never accomplishing it? Surely, the time required is worth that dream. •

Poem from Acres of Shadow
© Aisha Tariqa Abdul Haqq Publishing
Follow @AishaTariqa for more original poetry and merchandise •