I find that it is unwise to settle on dysfunctionality...

I find that I exist just on the edge of insanity
Teetering slightly, aware of the pulls from both sides
I find that it is unwise to settle on dysfunctionality
That wisdom is in finding how a particular dysfunction can be functional for you •

I wrote this poem exactly 5 years ago. I was 24 years old and had just started mental health treatment. But, I did not yet have many coping skills. Up until that point, all that I knew was suffering. The turmoil and fear that I had inside overwhelmed me; I felt afraid of even innocent situations. I was in constant fear of being physically hurt. Over my life, it had become a daily occurrence to me so much so that I learned to not let this impending doom ruin my life.
Throughout my suffering, I was still successfully setting and accomplishing my goals. I became a high-functioning anxious person through practice.

I still traveled, studied in academic programs, met new people, and I still practiced my craft. I learned to turn my pain into art. And this trick has become increasingly enduring for me. Eventually, after several patient years of therapy and medication, the suffering decreased by about 97% and I began to feel that degree of normal.

With practice and patience, I turned my dysfunction into functionality for myself. No matter what we are experiencing, we can always, always, accomplish what we set out to do. With practice, and with patience. •

Poem from Acres of Shadow
© Aisha Tariqa Abdul Haqq Publishing
Follow @AishaTariqa for more original poetry and inspiration •