This day is too heavy...

This day is too heavy
One person screaming at me and calling me devil and idiot
And my sister is broken
She threatens to kill me
To shoot me with joy
Due to delusions in her mind
And I had to walk away from my baby
With my back to him, as I am out the door
He says, "Mommy, you are leaving me"
This day is much too heavy
I am usually euthymic
But today, I fear another suicide attempt from my sister
This time, she may be successful
And a person who I must see everyday
Who I cannot avoid
Treats me with such malice
Over nothing
And now, my toddler does not understand that when mommy leaves, it is not forever
I saw his little face
Twisted and bereaved
And all of this tears me up
I know that life can be hard
None of us can avoid it
But some days
Some days feel the weight of the Moon
Me, straining to hold the day up
Muscles bulging underneath the weight
Not unlike Atlas and his eternal burden
My feet fall through the Earth
And I cry
But the hope is that all tomorrows bring relief
And that all tomorrows bring breath
And thus, I will live for tomorrow •

Poem from Ether & Toil, currently in process
© Aisha Tariqa Abdul Haqq Publishing
Follow @AishaTariqa for more original poems and inspiration •

Ether & Toil is not yet available, but click the button below for my first two books of poetry •