The sharp whip, red welts rising like overflowed river beds...

The sharp whip
Red welts rising like overflowed river beds tracing the edge of rib to rib
The darkness, a greeting to my stifled tears
What a lie has brought me
Leather upon soft flesh
Red eyes, probably
But downward-turned head
And protection of my frontal self
My back exposed
I had no control
Over which direction the whip would be brought upon me
Over which balance I would have to prepare
My agony at this moment
My silent agony
Not a cry could be heard
That I had no say
No “yes you can beat me”
No “yes I will allow it”
No “please” and no “thank you” and no “I love you” at the end •

I think the majority of us have experienced corporal punishment from a parent or other elder. Many cultures still believe in autocracy over their children. To these parents, every order must be obeyed without question. Even when that order causes harm to the child. Being raised this way, eventually we grow up never questioning authority, only doing what we are told to do. Eventually, we stop trusting ourselves, following only external voices.
I was terrified of my father growing up. He was 6 foot 3 inches (191 centimeters) tall and 350 pounds (159 kilograms). And he beat to the ground whomever disobeyed him — even the ones he claimed to love. I knew that if I did not do exactly as I was told, he would choke, beat, and spit on me like he did anyone else who chose to challenge his authority. As soon as I went to college and left my father's home, I made all of my own decisions. And finally, with my new found freedom at my heels, I began to challenge my father.
And you know what? One day, he also began to respect my challenges. And as I was finally an adult, he learned to accept me, lest he risk losing me forever. All that you need is the emotional wherewithal to say: "This is what I want — honor it, or go away." And you have to be willing to walk away if you must — forever, if necessary — until you receive the respect you know you deserve. Anyway, I hope this helps you on your journey. •

Poem from Acres of Shadow
© Aisha Tariqa Abdul Haqq Publishing
Follow @AishaTariqa for more original poems and inspiration •