I remember the itch of carpet and antennae crawling up...

I remember the itch of carpet and antennae crawling up
Inching the base of my spine
The brown of legs and wings
Flutter my spirit
Red blisters layered in age across the beige of my arms
The scratch of nails and blood and insect intestine entrails trailing
My horror
But my patience
Crawling along the walls
I curled up with the lineage of cock roaches
White from the scraping of body against body
Dropping like rain from the ceiling into my hair and hands
And the fleeting of fleas making home within the crooks of my joints
I lay eight hours there amongst them every night
Breathing softly
With their footsteps
Dreams encapsulated in brick walls and cracks of infection ‘Twas my dwelling
Was where I ate and breathed
Nurtured my mind in this flesh that is mine surrounded by bugs scattered not unlike mines ‘Twas my place there
And a space I called home
Where I studied Quran and equation
Was my journey there
Sitting still as the ecosystem creeped and crawled around me
And crawled around me
And pierced my flesh and drank while I bled
And scoured my body as I rested ‘Twas my setting there
I still cry from the touch of a spider
But know that I will remain solid for the immediate press of their flesh into mine •

Poverty is hard. Not only may you be missing food, unable to pay rent and utilities, incapable of purchasing clothing and toiletries; you may also tussle with vermin in your home. My home in my early teens was filled from nook to cranny with all manner of cockroaches, fleas, centipedes, and spiders. And I had no where else to live. No matter - I spent my time escaping by reading science and fantasy fiction, writing poetry, designing clothing, and remaining on honor roll in school. Time will always pass. Situations will always change. And now, 14 years later, I finally have control over my own life and can dictate the ways that I live and the places I visit. Have hope. Cling to whichever activity which will save you as time passes and you work for increasing betterment. With even just small efforts engaged in for a duration of time, you will get there. In time. •

From Acres of Shadow
© Aisha Tariqa Abdul Haqq Publishing •