Oh, the horror of your push upon me, great dark mass...
Oh, the horror of your push upon me, great dark mass
Your patriarchal pass
One movement
Like a twitch
But a push
Gentle as a swipe
But forceful as a gust
Impact of joints in alignment against my chest
And air in swoosh and collapse of my cage
Breathe in
Shock
Pain not in impact but surprise
My body propelled into air
Launched against my will
I thought forward but moved backward from the object that is subject to the quick wit of my father
A singular second in history
A quick thrust of a motion
And I fly
Toward the possibility of my demise
The large glass width that is the television rocking on its base
And I am beneath this space
Between me and the falling of a T.V.
It rocks back into place and I am dazed
The continued force of mass from my cavity into the face of my step mother
Onward and onward as if placed within a millisecond this fist goes •
My father is a complicated man. On the one hand, often feeding the homeless and starting nonprofit organizations with the intention of caring for battered women; and on the other hand ironically beating his wives and children within an inch of their lives.
My father is the reason I went to college. The reason I am starting a nonprofit organization to house homeless women and children. The reason I am a for-profit entrepreneur. The reason I am so independent. He knew what he was doing to his wives and did not want anyone to do this to me. He was always my favorite person in the world, but it was complicated by the ways he treated my loved ones.
When someone is abusive, never think that the abuse will stop there. More often than not, the transgressions will become worse overtime, until you no longer recognize the person to whom you are looking.
Protect yourself and your loved ones: leave at the first sign of disregard for human life. It will become worse. Someone will be drastically impacted, in a life-altering way.
Love yourself and your family enough to leave. •
From Acres of Shadow
© Aisha Tariqa Abdul Haqq Publishing •
