There is only one of us, and I have to be that one...

Are the roles reversed?
Do I scream down your throat now?
In need of clarification?
As you smile through tears unrestrained
It is impossible to shield yourself from the expected
I have installed my own emotions
I have plugged in my own bases
Now
I am established in a new sense
There is only one of us
And I have to be that one •

I have had only 4 romantic relationships in my life, at the age of 29. But the first significant relationship is always the most difficult to let go of when it is time — as most relationships will inevitably end. We can become so connected to that first significant relationship that we join the futures of the couple in sacrifice of the future of self. That first significant relationship can become as important as we are to ourselves. So, as most relationships will end, separating ourselves after we have become so intimately conjoined can create tangible pain, feelings of abandonment, and the stages of grief so associated with death. The relationship has died, and it can feel that a piece of us has died with it.

But this is an important moment in developing individuality. With each new death comes a life anew. With each new break comes new strength. And you will find that you have learned much about yourself at the end of the trial. You can then take this new knowledge of self and invest it in your future — in future relationships, and in future endeavors. Throughout the pain in the moment, it is difficult to see the triumph of the future. It is difficult to see much of anything while in the midst of pain.
But alas — as always has been and we find always will be — with each new death comes a life anew. All we have, and all we have to do, is embrace it. •

Poem from Four Years in Chrysalis
© Aisha Tariqa Abdul Haqq Publishing
Follow @AishaTariqa for more original poems and inspiration •